My Angel, My Vampire
by SassyJazz
Summary: EB. Anxious to become immortal and be with Edward forever, Bella is quickly forgetting what it's like to be human. When a family of bloodthirsties threatens Forks, Bella will discover just how strong the gift of humanity can be...


MY ANGEL, MY VAMPIRE.

DISCLAIMER: the characters and "Twilight" do not belong to me in any form. Such is property of Stephenie Meyer. This is a fan-written story.

_In a short matter of time, Bella Swan will be married… and vampire. Having come to terms with the price of trading in__ her__ humanity, Bella is anxious and eager to leave her first life behind forever. She's sick of being a liability f__or the __Cullens__ as she falls deeper in love with Edward and doesn't want to burden them any longer. __But her plans are put on hold when another family of bloodthirsty vampires __moves__ into Forks, waging war on the __Cullens__ and threatening all those dear to her. Amidst trying to protect both those mortal and vampire, Bella will discover just how powerful the gift of humanity can be__…_

ONE

I knew it was morning when I came to, but if I hadn't been used to the rain-rotted rays of Forks, I would never have known it. I blinked my eyes, staring into nothing, trying to push my weariness away. At first I wondered why my whole body still felt like lead, why every move I made only pushed me deeper into exhaustion. Then I remembered. I hadn't slept at all last night. I'd listened to the pattering rain, trying to decipher a pattern or a beat, trying to work it into a peaceful dream. The wind humming gently outside should have been soothing, only I'd found it eerie and menacing. When there was a break in the rain, I'd counted how many stars gradually appeared behind the clouds, however since that even the brightest star seemed burnt out in my eyes, I soon gave up on that, too.

Edward wasn't here.

He had finally gone far, far too long without feeding and so he was forced to stay away last night. I remembered his eyes the last time they'd dived into mine; they were ink-black… the deepest, most suffocating black the mind can fathom; where looking into them seemed like looking into endlessness. If I hadn't known any better, I would have found the colour petrifying.

But, of course, it hadn't bothered me. I wouldn't have cared if they _had_ been as scarlet as the blood that ran through my veins. If they were his eyes, I wouldn't have minded.

But when I'd looked into his eyes last I'd also seen pain; a yearning pain that scared me more than what the infinite blackness should have. So I let him go. I knew it was for the best; I knew that by losing him for one night I was keeping him for many more.

Still…

That had been the problem ever since Edward came into my life. I was so hopeless when I'm by myself; I was so weak and so empty. When I looked into the mirror, it was like a half of me was missing. When I got up in the morning, only a part of me woke up. Everything I remembered about surviving alone, living alone, was gone. My defenses collapsed, my protection fell limp. I didn't know how to be Just Bella anymore.

Of course, that was all a worthy sacrifice if it means being in love with Edward Cullen. Because when he _wa__s _with me, when I _was_ with him, I felt like I was invincible and the entire world was a climbable mountain. Earthquakes felt like crumbling dust beneath my feet, fires seemed like lanterns in my hand, the wind was like the breath that rustles the grass blades. Loving Edward was like skipping over planets. Edward loving _me_ was like bringing comets to a halt.

So as I lay there, conscious and dead in my empty bed, as the morning sun struggled to push through the constant barrier of rainclouds, I tried to remember just how strong I could be. I tried to recall that feeling of being formidable against the end of the world. It was all I could hope to do with him not here.

As I forced myself dazed and blurry-eyed up from the pillows, my mind thought how trivial a human life really was. We wake up every morning trying to feel alive when, really, we're just one day closer to death. We go about our little errands under the elusions that we're undefeatable, completely unaware of just how weak we really are. Of course, it has its value, as all life does.

But compared to the life of a vampire, as I thought to myself, there really is nothing to match it. An eternity blessed with heightened abilities and senses, plus the physical beauty that makes mere mortals green with envy? With all that, a life dedicated to "vegetarianism" – as the Cullens called it – would eventually work its way adequately into the equation.

It was this thinking that gave me both a hug of excitement and a kick of terror when I thought what lay ahead in my near future. I thought of Gandalf's words in "The Return of the King" when I tried to sum up the current point in my life: "The board is set, the pieces are moving."

Because, _I _was going to be a vampire.

I really was.

Everything was ready, waiting for me to make the final move forward, and I was completely and utterly committed to joining the "world of the damned" (as Edward had put it). To me, it was like stepping out from earth and into the arms of heaven, with my angel firmly by my side forever.

Edward was still against the idea of me changing, of course, as he always had been. He was still holding on to the tethers of my humanity, however detached they'd become. It was something I was having difficulty understanding. With me changed he wouldn't have to fight every day to control his desire to drink me. After two years he'd learned how to hide it well, but I knew that under his calm and gentle face he was still in as much agony as that first time in Biology. Couldn't he see that I was doing this as much for him as I was for me? Why was he so determined to endure pain in order to keep me mortal? Why, after everything, did he still want me to age and wither and die?

He'd see, I told myself as I peeled my clothes off for the shower. Changing would turn out to be the best thing I've ever done… for him, for me; for us.

The hot beads of water stung my tired face has I willed myself to wake up. My arms ached as I lapped shampoo through my hair, my legs trembling ever so slightly trying to hold me up. At last I stepped out of the bathroom, clean and dressed and feeling slightly more awake than I had, though getting through the next eight or so hours was going to prove difficult.

Work didn't help at all. There was nobody around and so the store was quiet, save the gentle hum of Mrs Newton's AM radio. For six hours, the only thing that kept me for falling asleep was the fire that ignited inside me when I thought of seeing Edward again later that afternoon.

At four-and-a-half hours past my shift, Mrs Newton said I could go home, "Slim pickings today I'm afraid, Bella. Why don't head off early?" So then I had an extra hour and a half to kill.

I contemplated going home to take a nap (my body was definitely telling me to do so), but a restlessness was stirring within me and I could not bring myself to go. All of a sudden, for no apparent reason, I had a yearning to speak to Jacob. At the thought of his name my heart gave a sudden drop. It had been two months since I'd last seen him, let alone spoken to him. The boys down at La Push maintained he was still "out of town," … whatever that was supposed to mean. The wolves' stupid ESP communication had filled them all in on what happened between us, so I sure as hell wasn't welcome there anymore. I couldn't blame them.

Knowing it was useless, and potentially extremely foolish, I went nonetheless on foot towards La Push, keeping off the road so that I couldn't be seen. As I walked, the clouds up above deepened into a menacing grey, promising a downpour of rain in a matter of moments. I brushed through the green thickets, looking for familiar trees and landmarks that I'd noted to myself from the last time I'd come. At last the familiar campfire sites and garages of La Push came into sight, and although things were much different now, I felt a calm wash over me. I found a log on the outskirts of the wood and sat down, letting a wash of happier memories of Jacob and me soothe me over. I sighed longingly, guiltily. If only Jake and I could be friends again.

My reverie prevented me from noticing the obvious signs of someone coming. Then it was too late.

"Bella! Why are you here?" growled Sam angrily, defensively.

I jumped, nearly falling off the log, but I managed to keep my balance (surprisingly). I then let my heart register panic as I realized I was in no longer friendly territory and the unruly werewolf near me could do whatever he wanted.

I tried my best, "Hi Sam," I began pathetically, "I was just on a walk."

"A little far from home aren't you?" said Sam, not missing a beat, and clearly furious.

I gave up trying to cover up. I breathed a sigh as he stared me down harder and deeper. "I'm sorry Sam. I shouldn't have come."

"No, you shouldn't have," agreed Sam, though he was calmer now.

I shrugged, "I was just checking if… if,"

"He's not."

"Oh." My heart dropped the second time that day. "Well, I guess I was expecting it."

Sam was quiet for a moment. I dared not to look at him, but something was telling me I was no longer in the Danger Zone.

"Why do you keep coming back here if you know it's hopeless? Why is your bloodsucker still not good enough?"

"Edward is plenty good enough," I answered quickly and sharply, angered by Sam's assumption. I was strong enough to look at him now. "I don't want Jacob that way. I just want his friendship. "

Sam shook his head then, "But Jacob didn't. Jacob _did_ want you that way. You're expecting too much from him too soon."

I nodded, knowing he was right. I didn't know what to say.

"Bella, just give him the time and space he needs," said Sam eventually. "You aren't allowed to make the next move here. If and when Jacob is ready to come back he will. Until then…"

I knew that was my cue to leave. I was expecting to feel a hard lump in my throat, but for some reason I felt relieved. They were harsh words, but they were completely true and I accepted them. There was nothing I could do.

"Thank you, Sam," I whispered, managing a weak smile. I turned to head back home.

"Bella?"

I halted and looked back to Sam. His eyes were now gentle, "Werewolves don't hold grudges for _very_ long."

With that I hurried to get back home before the rain hit. I was half way back, making my way through the familiar shrubs when a rustle in the nearby distance caught my attention. I stopped walking and remained still for just a moment. Looking around me, I tried to notice anything moving. An animal? But I couldn't see anything.

Then suddenly, I could have sworn I heard a growl from the right of me. It was a low, barely audible murmur of a growl, but I had definitely heard it. My heart skipping up just a bit, I looked around again, trying to pick out anything that might belong to the sound. But again, I saw nothing. Eventually I forced myself to give up and keep going. Whatever it was couldn't be that interested in me if they hadn't already taken go at me, so I determinedly, if not a little warily, continued on my way back.

Charlie's police car was still out when I finally got to my house. I was slightly relieved. If he'd been home he would have asked me to make him dinner, or get him a beer, or something, and honestly, I was so exhausted that the stairs were a trying feat conquer.

But when I opened my door, a fraction of my weariness escaped me, for Edward was back and he was lying on my bed. I saw his eyes first of all; they were back to their glorious shade of ochre – piercing and captivating. His skin was as white and as flawless as ever, his bronze hair disheveled from the rain. At first I stood there, still holding the door handle in my hand, watching him, studying him, falling more in love with him than ever. Suddenly, I was whole again. I was complete. I was entire. Edward was back and so was I.

"What, you're just going to stand there, after I hurry back to be with you?" he asked with a poker face, his golden eyes flashing with amusement.

With that, like a magnet pulling me in, I went to him. I slid on the bed and let him wrap his invincible arms around me. Locked in. I smiled and breathed in his cool, fresh scent, filling my lungs and my body with a perfume of life. I twisted my head back and found his lips, brushing them gently across mine. I wanted to do more, I wanted to hold him to me for an eternity, and feel my heart catch in my chest. But all of a sudden my body would not hold any longer. I was falling quickly and deeply, like the thunderous rain now tumbling down outside. So happy, content, and feeling more myself than ever, I had just enough strength to whisper how much I loved him before I fell into a profound and wonderful sleep.

_This was my first attempt at a "Twilight" Fan-fiction. I hope I did it all justice. __Thankyou__ to anyone who reads and/or comments! It's much appreciated!!_

_Much Love_

_Hannah_


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